Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Everything I thought I knew...

As I make the transition of Mollie sleeping in our room to her room it got me thinking about everything I thought I knew before I had a baby. If you're a mom, you may know what I'm talking about... You know, all the plans of what you will and will not do, what you will and will not use, the advice you will and will not take. For you mothers to be, I would like to tell you to take that list of things and chunk it in the nearest garbage can. But, I won't even waste the time because you won't listen. It's okay. I didn't either.  Check out my BB (before baby) list:
1. Mollie will sleep in her crib from night one. (Yea, right.)
2. I don't need a rock n play because of #1.
3. I DO NOT want a video monitor. (People can hack into those things!) 
4. I'm sure I'll be fine with her staying the night at my parents after a few weeks... 
5. My dogs will not be jealous because they are my first babies and nothing could make me spend less time with them. (Uh...)

You see those things listed above? Yep. In the trash can. Mollie did "sleep" in her room the first night she came home, and the second, and then never again. Why didn't she sleep in there anymore? Because I got smart and purchased a Rock N Play and put it next to my bed. Guess what? Those two nights she did sleep in there, we had a monitor that was sound only and detected her breathing. It gave us ALL of the false alarms and basically gave me a heart attack. (This monitor is great for some people.. It just wasn't for me.) now that we are moving her into her room... We have a video monitor. I got one that doesn't use wifi so there isn't a way for it to get hacked. She is 10 weeks today and has yet to stay the night anywhere because I would miss her. And my dogs are totally jealous. I do what I can to show them both attention but it's not enough. Especially because the weather has been horrible they are just stuck in the house. Hopefully this will improve. 

My point is... New moms don't know jack! But that's okay. We have EIGHTEEN (or more) years to get it just right. And before I know it, Mollie will be calling me with advice she may or may not use with her own children... I'm glad I have a while for that. Right now, I just want to hold her tight and let her know she has changed my life and shown my heart love I never knew existed... Right after I stop staring at the video monitor while she is napping in her crib. ;)

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8

Sunday, February 8, 2015

My very best self.

Lord knows I am far from perfect. I clean what I can see, I refuse to unload the dishwasher, certain 4 letter words are my favorites, and I enjoy a glass of wine...or three. 

Recently, it's been on my heart to become my very best self. Not for me, but for Mollie. I accept who I am, faults and all.  I want my daughter to see me and my imperfections as a strong, confident, and healthy woman. I want her to know that no matter what her quirks may be that God made them and they are beautiful. As long as she is leading a life that He and she can be proud of, I have done my job as a mother. 

I admit that I could change some things to continue to grow into my best self. After all, life is a learning process. I'm far from superwoman, but I secretly hope she sees me that way. Juggling life is difficult, but God doesn't give us anything we cannot handle.. I know that well. 

It is my deepest prayer that I grow into a woman and mother that my daughter can be proud of and that the Lord's love for her can be seen through me. 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14