As I mentally prepare myself to make the paci a bedtime only situation in a few weeks... I can't help but notice how obsessed Mollie is with her paci's these days. At any given time she has one hanging from her shirt, one in her mouth, and one in each hand. My favorite part is when she changes them out.. As if the current one in her mouth isn't good enough. She goes to bed rubbing a paci on her eyes (similar to what she used to do with her fuzzy mittens.) As I rocked her tonight, I handed her the second paci, where she then sat up, changed them out, and laid back down on my chest, as if it were totally normal. I couldn't help but think of the thing that once consumed my life... The paci game. If only I knew that in a matter of what seems like days, she would no longer need me for this game. She would so soon be able to not only spit them out and replace them, but hold 4 at one time. My baby is no longer a baby. My baby is a growing toddler. I'm trying hard to hold on to the few things that keep her my baby girl, like a paci... And her new paci game. I'm okay with it. It makes me smile.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
So I didn't know this, and no one told me about it, but I'm positive I'm not the only one in all of history to feel it. There is a moment...a monumental moment...where a mom or parent becomes a child's life. I don't know when it happened specifically, but it has. For months far before she could have even known it, Ben and I joked about who her favorite was. Of course I thought it was me, but often, he thought it was me too. BUT... Mollie has always been a people person. She didn't care who was talking to her and holding her, she was eating it up. She didn't meet a stranger.
You see, over the past week or so, I have noticed that she isn't as willing to go to everyone else. She isn't as brave as she once was. Instead of watching tv and playing on the floor, even if for only a moment, she wants to be in my arms. After naps she wants to rock and cuddle, and before bed she lets me love on her for just a moment longer than she used too. I am her home base. I am her safety net. And don't get me wrong, she loves her daddy and he is bound to be her favorite with his kid self trapped in a 34 year old body. But for now, she is my world. And I am hers. And I will cling on to that as long as she lets me.
Mamas do you remember that moment? When you realized that baby knows YOU are living for him or her?
"When I tell you I love you. I don't say it out of habit or to make conversation. I say it to remind you that you are the BEST thing that has ever happened to me."