275 days.

BAM! And just like that, she is NINE months old. My Mollie Kate is a mere 13 weeks away from being ONE! I think I just threw up a little bit. I have no words. I have thoughts, but they seem jumbled. She is a perfect mix of her daddy and I. She looks just like him and is opinionated and moody just like me. That smile... You've seen it. It could change the world. It will change the world. I've struggled lately, as some of you may have seen. I've struggled with separation from this awesome creature that I personally grew. It's always been hard to leave her. But now, she's too much fun. We have our days mostly down to an art. I've finally reached that part of motherhood where I know what she needs before she needs it. It took a full 9 months, but I'm there. And it's awesome. It's awesome (and scary) to be fully aware of someone like that. To be needed like that. If ever I didn't know my role in this world, I know it now. 

Let me clarify before people go all off about how I'm bragging about my perfect kid and my perfect this that and the other. It's been a HARD nine months. Even when she sleeps through the night, I don't. I'll wake up and be like "oh shoot, she hasn't made a noise in 4 hours, that's cool.. But before I close my eyes, let me go make sure her chest is going up and down." I remember the last time my mom kept her for the night, we went out after a game for a few drinks. I wanted to "enjoy my night off." I woke up at 6 that morning in a straight up panic. 

I'm not bragging. I am so blessed to have the many gifts that I have. I have a husband that has put up with and loved me for 8 years. Dogs that love and deal with us. Family that helps out with anything we need. And this awesome, amazing, beautifully chunky offspring. I'm unworthy. I should fall to my knees more. God has blessed my life. God has expanded my heart these past nine months. My biggest prayer is that Mollie can and will see God through me. And that I can see the world through her. She is my gateway to Heaven. She is my glimpse of a life by His side until I am permanently in His amazing Courts. My soul aches for more of Him because His love is shown to me daily through the child that He created. I am not perfect. My family is not perfect. This world, our life, is so far from perfect. But perfection does exist in my life for now, and her name is Mollie. And she is only perfect because God washes away any imperfections. May He be her light all of her days. And may I be the map that leads her to Him. 

Happy 9 months sweet girl. You have no idea how much you are loved. 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
—Psalm 139:13–16