Friday, March 6, 2015

What I don't need...

What I don't need...

In 7 days, I will drop my 12 week old off at my mothers house for the day while I go back to work.  I will lose 7-8 hours of my time with her to love on and spend time with 20 kids that have missed me these past 12 weeks. As sweet as it is to have a piece of those kids hearts... My heart will be broken. Don't get me wrong, I am stoked about hugging each and every one of my kiddos. Even the ones I wasn't sure I would miss... I do.  But it will be a day of such mixed emotions. 

On that day, and the days leading up to it, and the 10 weeks (10, not 9) of work that follow, what I don't need is your advice.  I don't need your kind words of encouragement. (Although encouragement is always welcome.) I don't need your judgement or your stories.  

What I do need is your prayers. I understand that thousands or millions of moms meet "that day" head on and come out on the other side.  I even know that some moms look forward to going back to work and having the opportunity for adult interaction and missing their children. And I don't judge.  But, it's not me. I know that my heart won't actually break.  I know that 3:00 will come and in 5 minutes or so (God willing) I will hold Mollie Kate in my arms again.  But for those 7-8 hours I will feel lost.  I will feel like my other half is missing.  And then, when I get used to having her back in my arms, spring break will have come and gone.  I will have to drop her off somewhere new and my heart will ache all over again.  I need time to pause...but that won't happen...so I need your prayers. 

10 weeks and 1 day.  I need prayers for courage and strength.  Anyone can do anything for 10 weeks and 1 day... Right? 

For we walk by faith, not by sight. 
2 Corinthians 5:7





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